Yet another sign this relationship is a big deal to God. For one of the four dealing with relationships, God wanted us to pay special attention to our relationship with our parents. This obviously means they are pretty important.
Out of all the laws in the Old Testament, 10 are highlighted. “Honor your father and mother…” (Exodus 20:12). The fifth is our relationship with our father and mother. Four of the five are related to our relationship with God. Of the Ten Commandments the first five are the “Dos” and the last five are the “Don’ts.” The “Dos” are all about relationships. Christ was referring to the Old Testament law summed up in the Ten Commandments. When Christ was asked by the rich young ruler what he should do to gain eternal life in Heaven, Christ asked him if he obeyed the law. As in all things, seek God's wisdom (James 1:5) in balancing the need to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse with the call to honor your parents.The Ten Commandments are a pretty big deal. At the very least, when expectations are made clear, there is less risk of hurt feelings or confusion. When all parties involved are seeking to honor God, things go much more smoothly. We should discuss these matters with our spouses and our parents as well.
We will need God's wisdom to discern what are true needs and what is overbearing, manipulative, or dishonoring. We are to do all of this with respect and in submission to God. If a spouse seeks to violate the call to honor parents, we reject that. If a parent seeks to violate our marriage relationship, we reject that. Each and every human relationship must submit to our relationship with God Himself (Luke 14:26). We are instructed to honor those in authority, but the Bible also gives examples when apostles defied authorities to continue preaching the gospel (Acts 4:1–22). This balance can be compared to another in Scripture, that of obeying those in authority (Romans 13).
When both husband and wife are seeking to honor God, even if the circumstance is uncomfortable, it is possible to honor both sets of parents and care for their needs while still keeping the marriage bond primary. We are intended to "leave" the parent-child relationship.Īt the same time, when our parent has a legitimate need, even if our spouse does not like our parent, we are to meet the need (Mark 7:10–13 1 Timothy 5:4–8).
We are still respectful toward parents, but we do not allow the parent-child relationship to become primary. When an overbearing parent threatens this bond, appropriate boundaries need to be put in place. There should be, between husband and wife, a growing oneness in every aspect of your life: emotional, intellectual, financial, physical, social, and familial.
HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER VERSE HOW TO
Understanding what God's Word says about each relationship helps us know how to navigate when there are potential conflicts.Īs has been stated, marriage is a lifelong commitment in which two people become one. At the same time, we still honor our parents.Īt times it can feel like a parent is pulling a child away from a marriage, or like a marriage is restricting a child from honoring and caring for parents. We "leave" our parents and "cleave" to our spouse, thus forming a new family. The husband and wife relationship is primary. In marriage, the two become " one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 Matthew 19:6). Marriage relationships are intended to be lifelong and to take precedence over our relationship with our parents. At the same time, the Bible instructs us to honor our parents (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1–3) and care for them when they need help (1 Timothy 5:3–8). The Bible tells us that when we marry, we are to leave our parents and cleave to our spouse (Genesis 2:24). How can a Christian 'leave and cleave' and still honor their parents?
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